Author Archive
The Law of Fabulous ~ Dabney Shares her Brilliance
Dabney
Founder of Social Media Girlfriends
Girlfriends Talk Radio: Get your Self Defense ON with Tracy Vega of @defense4women & your #SmGirlfriends
Listen in as Tracy Vega, the owner of Simple Self Defense for Women joined her Social Media Girlfriends, helping us to get our Self Defense ON while inspiring our community to take charge of our personal safety!
You will simply love Tracy’s unique approach and style as she shares strategies on how YOU ESCAPE from an attack or potential attack. We now know why women have so much fun in the programs Tracy and her husband take across the country, as they empower and educate women ages 8 ~ 81 on lifesaving information!
Tracy has also appeared on many radio shows, national television shows. Plus she has her own television show on PBS, blogs for Lifetime and interviewed as experts by local media.
Get to know this brilliant member of our Social Media Girlfriends Community and be sure to grab a pen and paper to take notes on the many safety tips she shares with us!
For for more information feel free to check out the website www.simpleselfdefenseforwomen.com
All You Need to Know About Relationships and Social Media, You Learned on the Playground!
Be Nice
Many of us heard this often as children. As we played on the playground with our friends, most of us were simply told, “Be Nice.” What does being “nice” mean? Think about it. Are you kind, friendly and courteous to others?
To be “nice” is to be kind to others. On the playground as children, most of us learned a great deal about being “nice”.
It is important to remember that you are defining your brand in a very social environment that reaches many more individuals then you can imagine. Know this for sure; if you are nice to others, you will find success.
Respect
Respect. It is a small word that is powerful beyond measure. On the playground as children, we were taught to respect others. We learned to respect our friend’s personal space, property, privacy, values and individuality.
Take these childhood lessons learned with you as you engage with others on Social Media. If someone is not engaging or has upset you, do not address this publicly. If you are marketing a product, do not spam others. If you do not agree with someone’s politics or religion keep your thoughts to yourself. If you must share your opinion or emotions, do so within a private email or direct message. Respect your online connections. They are real people, in real life. The only difference is you are engaging in real life online.
Share
On the playground we were told to share the jump rope, the swings, the slide, the ball, etc. If you were a good “sharer” you may have experienced how wonderful it felt to share with others. Undoubtedly in doing so, you made others feel good about you too.
Make this happen within your online engagements. Share the posts and work of your followers. Leave comments on their site. When you validate others, you send out the energy that you are kind. This will attract many new followers who engage in the same manner.
Look around, The Law of Attraction is operating right in your nest of fabulous.
Say Thank You
When someone was nice to us on the playground as a child, we were taught to say thank you. It is very important to do the same on Social Media. When someone adds you as a connection, mentions you or validates you in anyway, say thank you.
These two words establish trust and likability. Remember, both are critical to brand reputation and to building both business and personal relationships.
No Yelling
When on the playground, we were allowed to have fun and let loose. The same is appropriate at times, on Social Media forums.
However, just as we were told to not “yell” or “scream” on the playground, we must keep our “voice” down on Twitter. Yelling on Social Media is seen when someone uses all capital or bold lettering. Be careful with this. Many will take offense. No Yelling. Ever.
Help Others
When you were young, did you help another child on the playground when they fell, or did you look at them thinking, “He should have known not to play like that on the jungle gym.”
On Social Media, many untrained and uncertain individuals are joining every day. If you are sent spam, auto Direct Messages or a Facebook friend request without a note, don’t be too harsh. Try to recall the many mistakes you made when the world of Social Media was new to you. Stop and offer help.
My desire and mission is to educate others on the “Fine Art of the Social Media Dance.” This strong desire to help others is the very reason I developed my brand, seminars and trainings. For those of us who are experienced and well versed on the DO’s and DO NOT’s of Social Media, we must remember that just as earlier settlers defined the USA Territories, we are driving today’s “wagon train” and have discovered, developed and defined the social norms for Social Media. Let’s circle our wagons and protect, educate and help our new friends and connections.
Ask for Help
Just as we were told to help others who need us on the playground of our childhood, we were also told to ask for help when we need it.
Reach out to your connections and mentors. Ask questions and seek advice when you need it. If you have been playing “nice” and established your likability and trust reputation, your followers will not hesitate to help. I have been assisted when I have needed it. All I need to say was “Can anyone answer this question….?” I continue to be amazed at how supportive my connections are on Social Media.
It is however, very important to remember when asking for help, that you do not expect or demand free consulting services. Asking a simple question that requires a simple response is appropriate. A “picking someone’s brain” session via the phone or email should be paid for. Taking advantage of someone is never a benefit to your success on Social Media. Remember to respect your connections.
Include Others
Do you recall jumping rope or playing ball on the playground with your core group of friends, when out of the corner of your eye you saw a classmate sitting alone? We were taught to include that child and we must remember to do so when on Social Media.
Introduce a new follower that you respect to others. If someone joins in a conversation, respond and welcome them to do so. Remember, your core group of connections on Social Media, once never was. At one point, each of us sat alone in our nest. Reach out, engage and include both your core connections and your new ones.
No Gossip
Think about it. It is never acceptable to gossip about another person online or off. Many “fights” on the playground of our youth resulted from such poor behavior, and many have occurred on Social Media as well. To engage, repeat or repost gossip, ill will, or any communication that is hearsay is not only very poor manners, it is against the law to slander others.
Only re post or restate positive statements of others. If you see something negative stated, ask yourself how you feel as you read it. Most of us will have an uneasy reaction. When you repeat such statements, you will have many feel uneasy of you. As a result, you may as well toss the adjectives likeability and trust out of the list of words many may use to describe you.
It is simple, if you have nothing nice to say, do not say, tweet or post anything at all.
No Cussing
Just as we were taught not to gossip about others, we would certainly have faced consequences if we were to use foul language and profanity on the playground. As adults, we are responsible for our actions and reactions to others.
If you engage using profanity on Social Media, you will alienate, offend and loose followers. Trust me. It is not professional, courteous or appealing. I have read posts that have offered very timely and important information that I have been unable to recommend to others. Even a dash of profane language will stop me in my tracks.
Expressing yourself as “you” is important, but if “you” use profanity in your daily life, do not do so on Social Media. Ask yourself, “Would say that word out loud at a networking event?” Most of us would answer no.
Hopefully, you are making new connections each day on Social Media. If so, each post is a first glance and first impression of you to your new followers. Keep the foul language out of your nest.
No Bullies
The Bully of our playground days is often the same bully who acts passively and/or overtly aggressive on Social Media platforms.
You may be observed as a bully if you demand others to friend or follow you, are rude in your engaging and whenever you act as though you have more power then someone else. I have seen this happen often on Social Media platforms. I have observed people publicly announce many rude statements directed at individuals made in the public stream. I will often block anyone who exhibits such behavior or makes statements of others that are in anyway negative. It is toxic and bully like.
You cannot change a bully. I recommend you do not engage or reply to rude behavior. You can only control your reaction to such behavior. Simply hit the block or un-friend button. You are in control of what you see and with whom you engage. Keep your nest clear of negative clutter. This will leave room for connections that are positive and supportive.
Take a Time Out
When we were tired, angry, or feeling badly on the playground, most of us were told to take a time out. If you are feeling negative within your day, take a time out from Social Media.
Word of mouth has gone global; do not share with the world how badly you are feeling. Social Media is not therapy. We are at a networking event and/or social gathering. Ask yourself if you would attend an offline event feeling this way and vent inappropriately there? If you would not, do not engage on Social Media.
Let’s enjoy our playground of today! We may not have posted rules, but we do have many lessons learned that we may implement within our online community conversations. Play nice and you will build a circle of friends, business partners and clients who know, like and trust you!
For more education on Social Media Manners®, join the chat #SMmanners held each Tuesday at 10pm/est live on Twitter
Social Media Overwhelm – Are you feeling it?
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STOP, BREATHE and FOCUS
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Many of my social media friends and clients have been expressing how stressed out and overwhelmed the sheer number of social media platforms being launched have made them feel. I began hearing of this overwhelm when we learned of the addition of Quara and Empire Avenue. However, when Goggle+ was launched, it was as if one loud exasperated sigh was heard around the world. Another social media “must” platform, another thing to add to our “must do” list. How do we know which sites to monitor and engage on? How do we manage it all?
Lets get clear! Social Media has given us the ability to form connections that we otherwise would not have made and we are now able to take word of mouth from Main Street to the global level. Such global leverage and brand exposure is simply priceless. Having choices is truly an opportunity we should embrace, not fear. We must only be sure that we have the clarity needed, so that our choices are made well. Once you are clear, you can easily devise a plan that will benefit you and your business without throwing your hands up in overwhelm. Let’s start with the basics needed to gain this clarity…
Know Your Objective
What is your objective? Are you operating within social media as a form of networking? If so, what are your goals? Are you hoping to learn, increase traffic to your website, increase brand exposure, or market your services? If you don’t know what your objectives are, then you will never meet them. If you don’t map out your path, you will be wondering aimlessly on social media with no productivity or success at all.
Plan Your Social Schedule
Think of social media as many events occurring online. When you have an objective, it is easy to determine which event, you would like attend. Determine where your audience is while keeping your objectives in mind. For example, many of my private coaching clients find me on Facebook. My audience there is primarily women who are looking for direction and personal growth. On the other hand, my private business- coaching clients often funnel in via Twitter, while my speaking engagements, corporate clients and joint partnerships typically generate from LinkedIn exposure. So, my social media schedule typically rotates within these platforms, as my objective is to meet the needs of my audience and convert my efforts to an increase in business. If time allows, I will venture to other platforms to simply engage, assess and educate myself.
Put a Strategic Time Schedule in Place
Once you know where you are going on social media, you must decide how much time you will spend there in advance. I often recommend that active participation take place in fifteen-minute increments. Active means you are purposely engaging online and I recommend you do this at a minimum of three times a day for fifteen minutes, as part of your daily routine and marketing strategy. I use a timer on my desk. When it rings, I move on to my scheduled meetings, calls and other business tasks. Use your time wisely. I will often respond to mentions and Rt’s from my phone while multitasking household duties or waiting for dance class and football practices to end. Just ask my children.
For strategy, keep in mind that most mornings, many people are having their coffee while checking into their social media sites instead of reading the paper. This is a great time of day to share information and engage. During the afternoon, many are sharing content, while in the evenings many platforms become more social. So, it is wise to follow the “feel” of the room you are working while keeping your objectives in mind. I often ask others about their goals in the morning and learn of the offerings of the day such as webinars etc. I share my content and the content of my followers in the afternoon and in the evenings I often participate in live twitter chats and establish and meaningful connections that often lead to amazing friendships and business opportunities.
Outsource & Automate
It seems the big “secret” on social media is that those who are successful are using virtual assistants and automation as core components of their social media strategy. It is the unspoken yet core component that many will tell you about in private only, as some believe to do so is “out of integrity” or in poor social media manners. I disagree. In fact, if you are a successful business owner, how can you possibly be on twitter and other platforms all day long? When do you meet your clients or run your business? I have my assistant schedule tweets that I have prepared to go out during key times of the day. These tweets include information such as content as well as inspiring quotes that I love to share. While I am busy working with clients and running my business, these tweets go out between my active participation times. As a result, my brand presence and reputation are maintained during key times and in all time zones. More importantly, my audience is engaged and this is happening via my words being posted automatically. I am not using an rss feed and I am not having someone “pretend” to be me.
Outsourcing and automating will give you the “breathing space” needed to avoid overwhelm. You do not need to be “in the nest” twenty-four hours a day, nor should you be. I found that my sense of overwhelm diminished greatly when I integrated these services into my business. My business grew as a result and my social media success did as well.
Tools, Tools, Baby
There are many, social media tools and applications that you can and must implement into your social media strategy. I often find my mouth drops when someone tells me they tweet from twitter.com and do not use an effective tool. There are far too many to go into details here, but at a minimum you should consider integrating hootsuite or a similar tool into your business if you do not do so already. This tool alone will allow you to post on most of your social networking sites and set up auto posts and tweets in advance. By researching and educating yourself in regard to systems and tools, you will toss much of the overwhelm you are feeling right out of the window. I promise.
Inspired Action Will Bring Results
It is important to remember that finding success on social media is not an easy task.
It takes education, time and great effort. Those who have found success on social media will share with you that they spent countless hours researching tools and applications, educating themselves on all platforms and engaging with connections daily. You cannot expect to find success in any area of life without objectives, effort and time. Time is valuable and the management of your time is critical. Don’t get lost wondering around social media platforms. Prepare your plan and then enjoy it. Remember…if love what you do, and are true to who you really are, you cannot hide from success!
Join us tonight in our LIVE chat on Twitter…Social Media Manners using the hashtag #SMmanners. We meet each Tuesday at 10pm/est!
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